


Gestures of Apology

by justdreaming88



Category: West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-01
Updated: 2012-05-01
Packaged: 2017-11-04 15:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justdreaming88/pseuds/justdreaming88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Previous instances of that gesture passing through her mind, both before and during the administration.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_She remembers the way his wedding ring caught in the lights as he folded his hands across his heart, his form of apology in a place where he can't speak out loud. For a second, she pauses in front of those cameras recording her every word and move; previous instances of that gesture passing through her mind, both before and during the administration._

Toby buzzes her up without even asking who it is; this in itself is more of a surprise than the sound of raised voices and a slamming door, which reach her ears two doors away from the apartment. The shouting stops and C.J. knocks on the door. He answers a moment later, looking haggered and older than he was hours ago when he met her at the airport.

"Andie's filed for divorce."

She hugs him carefully, knowing that at any moment Andrea could come out of that closed bedroom door, never before has she felt so much like the other woman; when really there's nothing going on, there hasn't been for years.

"Two weeks since the inauguration, two weeks," he repeats bitterly.

They part and stand awkwardly for a moment before Toby again breaks the silence. Andie now opens the door, a bag in hand, which she hands to Toby; the briefest glance at C.J., conveying love, hurt and guilt all in one.

"I'll stay in a hotel," he says, accepting the bag from his wife.

Andie speaks for the first time,

"I'll box up your stuff."

C.J. interrupts before the other woman can continue.

"Send it to my apartment, Toby can stay with me until he finds somewhere else. Neither of us wants you living in the office any more than you do already."

Andie smiles forcedly in response. Toby seems to have shrunk during the exchange. C.J. helps him into his coat and scarf. She's taking over now, taking the bag out of Toby's hands and steering him out the door; a final look passes between the women, they understand each other. As if spurred into movement by the click as the door shut, Toby leads the way down the hall and into the mirrored lift. As the lift moves he places both hands across his heart, an apology and thanks in one. She leans against him.

"Come on, let's get back to my apartment and get drunk. No more talking or thinking unless you want to."

The Communications Director and the Press Secretary to the President of the United States leave his building into a flurry of snow, two dark figures silhouetted against the light of passing traffic.


	2. Chapter 2

It's snowing again but this time it's his birthday. Winter isn't a good time for them. For once they aren't stuck in the office, the President was in Manchester. They've been worried about Josh, but Leo was taking care of it. They walk out of work, something they've been doing more and more, or sharing the drive to work, just spending more of their private time together. CJ pops into an Italian restaurant to collect their dinner, when she comes back Toby's on the phone talking quietly. He mouths "Leo" to her when she tosses him a questioning look.

"I'll tell her,"

He finishes and hangs up.

"Donna's taking Josh to the emergency room, he'd smashed a window. He's suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

He slips his hand into hers as they walk.

"He'll be okay, Donna's with him."

They walk in silence, the snow still falling around them to C.J.'s apartment. She'd given him his present earlier, in the morning before work, but really their lighter workload was more than he could have hoped for. Crises had a way of happening at the worst times.

With Andrea he hadn't been romantic, he wasn't really with C.J. but there was just something about her; something that made him want to walk hand-in-hand with her down the street as though they were twenty years younger. Toby places both hands on his heart, a thank you for a better birthday than previous years.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as he saw her, across the busy airport, it was obvious she had been crying but that was to be expected. He wound his way through the crowd towards her, stopping a few feet away to study her closely. She was used to this gaze of his now, both searching and comforting. Somehow knowing exactly what she needed even when she didn't realise it. He let his bag hang on his shoulder, and placed both hands across his heart. Tears welled in her eyes; a few fell but she brushed them away quickly. She didn't like appearing weak, even to him, especially to him.

They threaded their way out of the airport, his hand on the small of her back, even though she was taller. The drive to his hotel passed quietly and quickly, it was a comfortable silence, which Toby was unwilling to break.

"What time is the funeral?"

"11 a.m."

Is her quiet reply, he sees her hands tighten their grip on the steering wheel and almost curses himself for not picking a better time. It's the first time either one of them have had to bury a parent.

He holds her hand through the service the next day; she speaks eloquently as usual though with a tremor in her voice occasionally. They bury her mother privately in a small plot, the one next to it reserved for her father's use in the future. After, they decide on some time away; it's been draining for them both. She wants somewhere hot with sand and he replies petulantly that she's got enough of that at home in California, so they go to the mountains. Seeking out the cold, similar to the way she's feeling. Vermont. He doesn't know that the next time they'll be in New England together is for a Presidential candidate they've yet to hear of or even dream of being major players in that campaign. They fly their separate ways, a continent physically separating them again.


End file.
